DRUNK REVIEWS: Joyce Manor – Joyce Manor


Words by Ashwin Bhandari

Alright so Joyce Manor have a new record out in a few days and idk if I’ll like it or not but fuck it the world needs to know about this fukin sick self titled record. I know I’m jixing it now but this is the only reecord where if you’re drunk af you’ll still be able to sing along to every single worddd

I was originally finna do Whats The Storuy Morning Glory by Oasis but no amount of alcohol or drugs will make me tolerate that gobshite band ok fuck off

Alright finna put this on my record plauer

OH I DO FEEL  AWUFL ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL, instantly this record sets the angsty emo tone so well and I’m so happy I got into this band when I was 16 and they helped me escape my scene phase so ty to Joyce Manor for writing ‘Orange Julius’.

I have no idea why Laundery is in the title fir the next one like is it some stupid Injoke we don’t get idk either way, when I first downloaded this album orange julis wasn;t included but ah either way this is a lit 2nd opener track, especially wihen u see them live and hear a fuck tonne of people scream “I call ouuuuut”


‘Beach Community’ opens w some sick punchy opening drums and fun fact I used to perform this song when I did greeby acoustic shows at Uni, obviously the “everything reminds me of u” line hits hard because im a pathetic emo but yh stands out and I love it fam

Ok gonna pee and drink some more wine I’ll b back in a sec


Action shot

Oh lol as a kid I used to collect trains so this track obviously fits w me as well  haha, I mean I didn’t make trains crash into each other or anything but like yh the metaphor fits well ok? Ok. CAUSE YOULL NEVER MEND YOUR WAYZ

FMAOUS FRINND WHY U TELLIN LIEZ AGAIN, idk sort of relate to this one more in my 20’s compared to how I did when I was in my teens as now pople I grw up with are now  more successful than me which isn’t saying much but you know.  The simplistic chords are nice tbhhhhh

IN YR NEW LEATHER JACKET YR SOMEBODY ELSE, fuck man my teenager self tried to apply this lyric to so many ppl and maybe it was uncalled for but at the time I thought it was so revlevant but ironically in my last year of sixth form I got a denim jacket for Christmas and it has a massive Touche Amore backpatch and a bunch of greebo patches idk this song has that nice lil comforting solo at the end.

YR  THE WORST INTERN lol it me in 2016, didn’t even think about the opening lyric until now,  the  lil breakdown bit at the end is so satisfying to hear drunk for some reason, just reminds me of being a massive greeb in my UNi days going tio shows in Kingston

‘Constant nothing’ is the only track I don’t like its just boring as fuck amnd like, I m fairly sire they don’t even play it live idk what its even doing here get to fuck,  guess the drums are satisfying but like I don’t even drum v well or like complicated beats Idk guess my brain is just weird

Ashtray Pettng Zooooooo, my friend had this as their Tumblr tagline and had no idea what it meant like do its literally just you tapping the ash out of yr ciggie its not that deep hahaha

You know theres also a bunch oif harmonies I’ve heard on here that I didn’t even notice before so well done trashwin u perceptive mysic journalist U



And for the grand finale, ‘Constant Headache’ just sums up every emo in 2016 no matter what age they are,  dat level of self depcriation lasts forever, you could b married w kids and still here the intro of this and stagedive onto your mates, fun fact whe  JM played fighing cocks my friend bought tickets to the sold out show ahd this was the only song he knew and he was outside smoking for it and then I drank more and died, ITS JUST A CONSTANT HEADACHE A DEAD PET ADVICE, U HANG ME UP WITH THE BETTER PART OF ME NO LONGER MINE, ikd its not deep or anything its just emnotionally stratifying enough to relisten to but not in a Oh I actually have an ex who this reminds me about sorta way tbh either way this self titled is lit tell yr grandkids tell yr current kids its lit\





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